Heart of the Matter

Confession time: Our son has this hat that my husband and I not-so-secretly detest. Maybe it's because we are starting to officially turn into our parents (who never seemed to understand our trends either), but we can't seem to fathom why our son loves this hat when to us it is quite possibly the ugliest hat known to mankind. Also incomprehensible to us is the fact that any other type of outerwear accessory owned by our son - hats, scarf, and especially gloves - seems to disappear into that same nether region that is also home to the socks that mysteriously disappear from the dryer. Yet this hat, much to our dismay, appears to have some type of homing beacon on it which makes it impossible for our son to lose. This has naturally led to Craig and I hatching secret plots to "accidentally" misplace said hat ourselves.

When I asked my son yesterday morning if his friends like this hat, he shrugged his shoulders and said "Some do." I inquired as to why he likes the hat so much, hoping to at least understand his appreciation for it, even if I can find none myself, and he answered, "I just do." After this exchange our family each went our separate ways for the day -- to school and jobs -- and as I made the daily commute to my job I thought further about that hat and my son's appreciation for it. It struck me first that he is unconcerned about what others may think of it. At nine years old, he still has not yet felt much of the pressure to "fit in" that I know will be facing him in the not so distant future. He likes what he likes regardless of others' preferences. I pray he keeps a healthy helping of that individuality and comfort in his own skin. I also thought about how as an adult I make judgments every day about what is and isn't worthy of my attention, about other people and how I assume their life must be based on what they wear or how they walk and talk. Sometimes I'm not so proud of those assumptions I make.

I'm sure other people look at me and make judgments about who they think I am as well. It's a part of human nature. We know the saying "Don't judge a book by its cover", but this book lover is the first to admit that what often first catches my eye at the bookstore or library is a book with a dynamic or graphic design. Sometimes I still have to learn the hard way that those flashy books aren't always actually the best once you crack open the spine. Just last week I had such a reminder with a book that had an artsy cover and blurbs on the jacket flaps declaring how amazing the book was only to give up halfway through the novel because what was inside was actually kind of ugly. On the opposite end of the spectrum, some of the books I own with the plainest of covers actually contain some of my most treasured and favorite stories.

What's wonderful and comforting to me is that we have a God who looks at us with different eyes than the ones we use. His eyes see the beauty and uniqueness in every individual person and what's more can see into the innermost recesses of our hearts. He knows every cell in our DNA and every thought before we think it and declares us fearfully and wonderfully made. He's a God who can look at a man like David - who on the outside was nothing special and who was unfaithful to his wife and a murderer to boot -- and declare him King and a man after God's own heart because of the passion for God he carried within.

Maybe sometimes what we need is just a new perspective. Open the plain looking book and read a page or two to discover the beautiful world hidden within. Take a few moments to talk to that person at work who seems a little rough around the edges or who seems to want to argue all the time and find out that inside might be a person who shares some of the same hurts and hopes. Maybe even try on the "ugly" hat and see that it's actually quite warm and cozy after all.